Good thing I found a coupon, eh?
thrifty people
I am not a thrifty person. I wish I were.
I'm not exactly wasteful. I just need to exist in a place where a price is the price.
I don't want to mess around. I loathe haggling. I don't clip coupons
It's not my thing.
James Frick is thrifty. He loves haggling. He gets deals on everything. Now, teachers are cautioned against using absolutes like 'everything.' But I throw caution to the wind with full confidence when I say 'everything.'
When we had our first (and only) baby I wanted one of those travel system strollers. I wanted a good one that was safe. Carseats are important after all. James bought one from craigslist. It was in perfect condition- make no mistake- I checked it over well. We used it. We used it well, mind you.
And do you know that man sold it afterward for more than he paid for it!
Those things do not happen to me.
James Frick is also not a man who obviously watches other women. Maybe he does, but I have never noticed him checking someone out. Not once.
He did mention once that he thinks an actress named Alex Rousseau is pretty, but that's the only Hollywood crush I know of.
But I bet he secretly falls in love with every woman on those extreme couponing shows.
It has to make him at least wish I was like that.
You know those people with the organized notebooks of coupons. The ones that learn the system and can get paid to walk out of the store with seven carts of goods. Goods they don't even need. Brands they don't even use. Their basements are stuffed with neatly organized shelves of stored stuff. Hundreds of boxes of toothpaste and such.
Things like that make James very happy.
The closest I came was a Costco membership. Things were bulk deals. And I kept extra things in the basement.
Not quite the same, I know.
beware sorcery
The Bible tells us not to get involved in sorcery. The word that the King of England had translated to say sorcery is the word pharmakeia in its original greek. It's where we get the word pharmaceuticals. It's what many have termed Big Pharma these days.
Burning pharmacists like they did in the olden days of Salem seemed like a horrible idea to me once. I'm not so sure about that now. Maybe they were on to something.
Again...relax... I don't really want to burn anyone.
Although. When I found that coupon for Imbruvica, flaming visions may have lingered in my mind's eye. And yes, James remains underwhelmed by my couponing skills.
I have to remind him how delightful I am in other ways.
there aren't many things that annoy me
But there are a few.
Mosquitos for one. I really do not like them. I asked God about them once. Like really...what was He thinking? Not only did He make them. He called them good. He let me know they are a very important part of the food web. They feed my food. They help transfer sunlight stored in algae and make it delicious to fish and then I eat the fish. I do enjoy fish. But why must their food be so horrible? Such vectors of disease? Good?
C'mon.
My mind can't resist relating unrelated thoughts. It's kind of a specialty.
I read an article on turmeric recently that sent me on a rabbit trail. That rabbit trail hasn't exactly told me why we need mosquitos and the diseases they spread about, but it convinced me that we need both.
The article was about turmeric treated with pesticide vs. untreated turmeric. I'm sure most of you know this plant contains a compound called curcumin which acts as a very powerful anti inflammatory in the human body.
But the plant didn't make that curcumin with us in mind. It produces it as a defense mechanism against pests.
Pests by very name are annoying and problematic.
But.
Turmeric plants that are free from pests don't need much curcumin. Without a pest/problem to overcome it produces very little of the precious compound. If you eat that pest free plant, you in turn get little benefit.
Once again.
Nature and her God actually do know what they are doing.
So. Fleas probably do something necessary. Mosquitos, too.
And I'll just bet there is some purpose in a cancer cell.
I'll throw it out there that balance is probably the real key to making everything work together instead of causing so much pain and sorrow.
Something is out of balance when cancer takes hold.
the biopsy
It has been a while since I gave an update. I do apologize.
The marrow biopsy results were crummy. One hundred percent marrow involvement. This makes me a solid stage four.
Stage four.
No cure.
Yup.
treatment recommendations
Treatments they will remind you are not cures. They are to manage symptoms.
Emory says I have 2 months to maybe a year without treatments. Northside said Imbruvica will make me last long enough for modern medicine to find a cure. Emory says there isn't anything wrong with Imbruvica, but they would do plasmapheresis, chemo, two steroids, and Rituxan. Emory figures a good goal would be to last another ten years with treatments. Northside says Imbruvica has fewer side effects and achieves the same management goal in many people. Neither Northside nor Emory answered the questions about why stem cell transplants were used as a last resort. It was oddly like listening to a politician. There were words, just no answers.
Bottom line: everything has side effects and nothing fixes this.
All of it is stupidly expensive.
And it feels amazingly out of balance.
I told God I needed one of those faith healers to slap my forehead and knock me off a stage somewhere and just take all this away. I asked Him if those people are still out there.
My brother found an amazonian tribal healing trip. But upon further investigation, it might be a little too 'trippy' of a trip. The herbs are strong and frog poison thing interesting. But not really what I was looking for. A little too close to sorcery for my God, I think.
Funny thing, though.
Right after I asked God if I could be slapped upside the head, he sent me a faith healer.
Well, she doesn't promise healing. And she doesn't slap you upside the head. She has a whole group of ladies. They deal with your spirit and your soul and give you a massage with healing oils.
And they pray.
I'm telling you, people.
Ask God for things.
He will not simply send answers.
He will swap out head slaps with massages.
I'll take it.
decision time
My friends know I can be terribly indecisive.
I'm one of those horribly annoying people who does not know where to go for dinner. But knows where she doesn't want to go. And usually only after you suggest it.
Guilty.
It has not been easy making this choice. And I'm almost there. But not quite.
I'm not afraid, really. At least I have full faith that what happens will be what is supposed to happen. I pray and I hope that I don't muck up God's work here. He's busy doing something. I can't see it yet. But I hear it.
I hear it in my soul.
And I know I don't want Emory's plan.
It feels good to eliminate one.
Right now, most of you may think that leaves Northside's plan.
Well...
about that.
Imbruvica at 12.5k/month makes me a titch angry. Hence the fiery visions. Most WM peeps are super old. What a way to milk medicare! Others rely on insurance for part. But, really people. Insurance companies are not in business to go broke. They MAKE money. Which means people pay for that plus some more. Somehow.
And Johnson & Johnson (the makers - though not inventors- of imbruvica) has a foundation. It also has people on payroll. Making money somehow. They will give...give...a year supply of imbruvica if you make less money for the entire year than this prescription will cost you. But if you make any amount over their cap, they give you nothing. You have to apply with last year's taxes.
Having a job last year that I do not have this year puts us over the limit on paper.
I'm going to send it off anyway. And hey, if they take it and I get a year free I might be on a drug for a while. Although my normally peaceful soul kind of wants to flip the old finger to J&J and say 'thanks but no thanks.' Meds shouldn't cost that.
Something in Pharma is wholly out of balance.
I will not give up, though
There isn't anything out there about removing IgM from my blood. I discovered that in the lab they take it apart for study using papaya enzymes. This lead me to a cardiologist in Nevada who has had success lowering blood viscosity in heart disease peeps with enzymes. He pointed me toward some promising options that may relieve my symptoms. I'll keep you posted.
My brother has been researching all the best Mexican cancer clinics. I've listened to some ladies who were stage 4 years ago and are still here. They highly recommend I go. Like, yesterday.
They do stem cell transplants at a fraction of the cost. They also do a lot of other pretty safe treatments the FDA just doesn't like. Oh, and the more I read about the FDA. Not a fan.
So before the FDA makes it illegal to go to Mexico and before any walls are blocking me in... I need a trip.
I'm dealing with this cancer on three levels.
the root causes (most important but least urgent)
actual cancer cells
symptoms from extra IgM protein (least important but most urgent)
To address root causes:
detox myself and my environment, low stress life, juicing, supplements, joyfulness (no joke- joy is curative, people)
To address cancer cells:
Imbruvica if we can find a way, currently researching some DNA mutations and how to switch them 'off,' eating a list of foods and supplements that claim to kill cancer cells, Mexican cancer clinics
To address symptoms:
enzymes, and I'm going to ask about the plasmapheresis next visit
I'm ok
Many ask how I am doing. I'm ok.
My body is hanging in there. I'm keeping up with my oils, getting better at eating better, supplements out the wazoo, praying a ton, focusing on joy...
and I'm actually excited to see what God has in store for me. He promises it will be good.
Now, good like mosquitos?
I hope not. Ha.